I’m selfish. And self-centered. And I have (as Meredith Grey on Grey’s Anatomy would say) a dark and twisty side that sometimes takes over.
And boy, do I complain. I complain at work. I complain at home. I complain on social media. I complain about my kid, my family, my work, the weather, how hot my office is, my weight. I complain.
But today I am grateful. Today I am thinking about two friends roughly my age who have recently had serious health crises. One had a double mastectomy after getting breast cancer for the second time. She’s a single mother of two girls in and barely out of high school. The other is a man I know professionally, but now feel like I know personally after following his journey through stomach pains that turned out to be a plum-sized tumor that now has surrounding blueberries, which is scary. It is being taken out today (“fruit extraction”) and my thoughts are with him.
Today I am thinking about my mother, who died at 69 of cancer, six months before I got my son, the grandson she’ll never know. (Although I’m convinced she does know him from wherever she is because I swear I hear her laughing when he does something that makes me crazy. She loved the “payback” concept of her kids having kids.)
Today I am thinking about friends who have been through divorces–or worse–in their marriages.
Today I am thinking about people who have lost children, truly the most horrible experience I can think of.
And today I am grateful for things that I complained about yesterday. Today I am grateful for:
- Having so many opportunities to do work I love that I’m overwhelmed.
- Having an energetic (and healthy) kid who runs me ragged.
- Having a sweet and loving husband who doesn’t mind being portrayed as either “robotic” or “stable.”
- Having students to teach (some of whom actually want to learn!).
- Having the opportunity to live my dream when I get to move back “home” in six months to raise my son and be a multipreneur.
- Having no answer (because there are so many possible answers) to the question, “What will you do as an entrepreneur?”
- Having so many kind friends and family members that sent my son birthday presents and cards that I can’t find the time to write all the thank you notes.
Sure, I’m still hurt that my own father said “No, thanks” when I suggested my husband, son, and I come visit after Christmas visit (after 1,000 “Come visit us” comments from him). But today I’m trying hard to remember to be grateful that between us, my husband and I still have one parent left. Our son has one grandparent left.
And I’m impatient to move home to the beach. But today I’m trying to be grateful that I have a job that gives me the chance to help (when I can) college students figure out their careers. Because I totally dig that.
And I get frustrated at students who go through the motions and give me snarly faces in class. But today I’m trying to be grateful for the ones who “get it” and who are making the most of their time in college.
So dark and twisty or not, today I am grateful.